David Lee Roth Says Story About Ontario Cops Saving His Life Is Nuts

David Lee Roth says the story two Ontario police officers told Canadian reporters this week about having saved the singer's life last month is untrue. Though the cops alleged that they pulled the Van Halen frontman over for speeding in Oakland, Ontario, Roth is calling bull hockey on their claim that they called an ambulance to rescue Roth while he was having a severe allergic reaction to nuts.

"I was in only from July 1st through the 4th with a performance at the Quebec City Summer Festival," Roth told TMZ. "I had no encounters or incidents with the police. The only thing I'm allergic to is criticism."

So much for the law-enforcement claims that Diamond Dave went into anaphylactic shock from eating Blue Diamond nuts. And sorry, Sammy Hagar, looks like you're still out of VH.

Scott Weiland Is a Loogie Man

Additional details of a May interview between Scott Weiland and Los Angeles Times reporter Chris Lee has revealed that the troubled Stone Temple Pilots frontman has a fondness for launching "huge green" loogies at the wall and verbally assaulting members of the media.

During the exchange, which was held in advance of the singer's jail sentence for a November 2007 drunk driving charge (for which he ultimately only served six hours in a Van Nuys lockup), Scott took a cue from Lou "what are you, a f---ing asshole?" Reed. Here's how it went down:

Lee: "How disruptive has it been on band unity to have you going to serve jail time just before reuniting onstage for the first time in five years?"

Weiland: [Spits huge green loogie on the wall that drips down just behind bassist Robert DeLeo and his brother, guitarist Dean DeLeo, who, it must be noted, plays it off like nothing had happened.]

Lee: "Where's your head at right now just before going to jail?"

Weiland: "All these questions are ..., man. Who do you interview? To what level?"

Katy Perry Disses Mick Jagger in Favor of John Mayer

Guys looking to impress 'Kissed a Girl' sensation Katy Perry better have their A-game going. "I'm a tough cookie," Perry tells Spinner. "I don't care who you are." Just ask legendary lothario Mick Jagger.

Perry, who worked with producer Glen Ballard on her debut album met Jagger at a dinner in L.A. through Ballard's friend Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics. When asked if the Rolling Stones frontman had any words of wisdom for her, she laughs. "Besides the ones when he was trying to take me home," Perry says, "and took home my other girlfriend instead cause I ain't gonna have none of that? Mick Jagger could be my dad. I don't cross 60. The age limit's probably 30."

Perhaps one of the reasons Perry doesn't get swayed by fame is due to her bloodline. "My dad used to be an acid dealer for Timothy Leary and my mom dated Jimi Hendrix for half a second," she recalls. "They have a couple of stories."

But there is one ladies man even Perry isn't immune to. "I wish John Mayer would hit on me," she says. "But that's a whole other story."

Rod Stewart Demands Oxygen Kits in Rider

Rod Stewart's giving the Foo Fighters a run for their money, following the recent tour rider revelations of Dave Grohl and Co. Rod the Mod, now 63, has requests for oxygen kits and footballs (that's soccer balls to us Yanks) from his concert promoters.

According to a report in the Daily Mirror, Steward needs "two first-aid type Oxygen kits" placed backstage at every gig. He also needs "48 white, Fifa 'size five' non-logo footballs." He boots the latter into the audience each night.

Not surprisingly, Stewart also commands a hotel presidential suite, three limos and British newspapers. Stewart and his crew also warrant £8,000-worth of food each day, including donuts for the helpers at breakfast time.

Billy Bob Thornton Gets Into the Business of Beans

The Hollywood cowboy with a reputation for being a badass, Billy Bob Thornton, apparently gets at least some of his gusto the same way we all do: coffee. He tells Spinner that he usually drinks the celebrated elixir at "noon, which is when I get up."

Thornton also says that he favors "French Roast coffee, sometimes black and sometimes with soy cream." Meanwhile, he and his band the Boxmasters have partnered with gourmet coffee distributor Coffee Fool in creating a boutique Kona-based blend for sale online.

The press release for The Boxmasters' Special Brew states: "This brew reeks diner waffle batter with smoky undertones." Hmm ... sounds about right. Thornton's fellow Boxmaster, Mike Butler, confesses to Spinner that he never really enjoyed going to coffeehouses or java joints, preferring truck stops and greasy spoons instead. "You rarely see a bunch of 20-somethings in $300 jeans and wireless Bluetooth headsets, sipping their lattes with their heads buried in a laptop working on their 'screenplay' in a truck stop," he says.

True dat. But then again, you probably won't find the Boxmasters' Special Brew in Waffle Houses, either. The Kona blend is available online at www.coffeefool.com. The Boxmasters, meanwhile, will hit the road in July, supporting their upcoming self-titled 2-CD set.

Foo Fighters Laugh-Laden Tour Rider Leaks

The Foo Fighters' tour rider has found its way online, and, as expected, Dave Grohl's sense of humor is all over the 26-page document. Sure, Van Halen's legendary stipulation, "No Brown M&Ms" pretty much got the ball rolling three decades ago, and the Stooges' 2007 rider was a total classic, but highlights of the Foo's 2008 backstage tour demands are a pisser as well:

"Selection of cereals -- unopened. Do not recycle from last night's DIO show."

"Every lunch should include a 'Soup of the Day' -- Please try to make it a vegetarian selection. Meaty soups make roadies fart."

"A bunch of lightly cooked chicken breasts with goo on them are not fun, not exciting and definitely not going to get you a hug from our bass player Nate. (He's the real people person, not the guy from Nirvana)."

"Any pre-packaged foodstuffs, such as chips, M&Ms, etc. must remain sealed until opened by a member of the tour entourage. All goods in jars or alike, should be purchased new and unopened at the time of the artist's arrival at the venue. We are just another band trying to make enough money to fuel our private jet. Please help."

"24 large bath towels. If they are new and unwashed, you will receive a wedgie."

The band's demand for beer and cigarette lighters is pretty pedestrian, but what's with the scented candles, fellas?

Dolly Parton Peeved at Howard Stern

Don't mess with a Southern girl, y'all.

Dolly Parton has fired back at the Howard Stern radio show, in response to a bit that originally aired May 6 on the top rated Sirius Satellite program, which , according to the singer, electronically manipulated her speaking voice using elements of her audiobook to create "racist and sexually vulgar statements." An outraged Parton hinted a lawsuit might be forthcoming as a result of the comedic bit.

"I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life," Parton said in a statement. "I cannot believe what Howard Stern has done to me. In a blue million years, I would never have such vulgar things come out of my mouth."

"They have done editing or some sort of trickery to make this horrible, horrible thing," the legendary country singer continued. "Please accept my apology for them and certainly know I had nothing to do with this. If there was ever going to be a lawsuit, it's going to be over this. Just wanted you to know that I am completely devastated by this."

Stern's 'anything-goes' broadcast has become notorious -- especially since its move to Sirius -- for such vocal manipulations. The use of sound clip manipulation takes place on a regular basis in bits and phony phone calls that are often the work of Stern staffers Sal "the Stockbroker" Governale and Richard Christie.

Milk Strikes 'White Gold' With New Ad Campaign

The story of guitarist White Gold is a typical one in rock 'n' roll. As he tells it, White Gold was once a "ragged man [with] frail hair [and] scrawny muscles," until he encountered an angel who gave him a milk-filled guitar. Suddenly this weakling was transformed into a hunky bare-chested rock god with flowing hair. Together with sexy-looking female musicians Wholena and Skimberly, the bassist and drummer known as the Calcium Twins, White Gold extols the healthy virtues and benefits of milk through his bombastic funk rock music. "I consumed [and] transformed -- I went forth into rock history," he says.

But White Gold isn't an actual rock star though he sure plays like one with his macho singing and moves. He is the campy invention of the real-life advertising firm Goodby, Silverstein & Partners as part of the California Milk Processor Board's campaign to get younger people drinking more milk.

"I think we were tossing around ideas, [and] the phrase 'white gold' had been thrown around just as a neat name for milk," Goodby, Silverstein's Paul Charney, who, with Andrew Bancroft and Bryan Houlette, developed the campaign, tells Spinner. "What if there was a guy named White Gold who wanted to spread the word of milk through the power of song?"

The creative team drew inspiration from the movies 'This Is Spinal Tap' and 'Zoolander' in shaping the character. The presentation is as over-the-top as the music. In the video for 'One Gallon Axe,' White Gold levitates while playing his dairy-powered guitar; and in the 'Tame the White Tiger' video, he submerges into a river of milk.

"We wanted to create this guy who embodies the benefits of milk in a funny way," Charney says. "The idea that rock musicians has this beautiful flowing hair, this smile, this Axl Rose-body -- they got all this from milk."

Dave Grohl Pens an Open Letter to Metallica

Foo Fighters mainman Dave Grohl has reportedly penned an open letter to Metallica, pleading with them to make sure their new disc is 'kick-ass.' And who could blame him? The one-time Nirvana kitman writes:

"Dear Metallica:

Hey, it's Dave! Remember me? Yeah, I'm the guy that's been listening to your band faithfully since 1983. I bought your first album 'Kill 'Em All' from a mailorder catalog called Under the Rainbow, I think. Actually I can't remember. It was 1983 for Christsakes! But that album changed my life and I've been listening to your albums ever since (even 'St Anger'!).

I can't wait to hear the new s---, and no matter what you guys do I'll always be first one at the shop waiting to hear it. I'm sure you'll come out and blow everybody's f---in' minds, because you're f---in' METALLICA!

Good luck. And don't release it until it's kick-ass.

Yours, Dave Grohl.

P.S. Are you finished recording the drums yet?"

We second that.

Neil Hamburger Takes a Bite Out of Nickelback

Folks who can't seem to properly separate their garbage from recycling and alt-rockers who make garbage music are just some of the banes of comedian Neil Hamburger's existence. "It causes stress to think about the folks who have to pick chicken bones out of what is supposed to be clean office paper," he tells Spinner. "They are unsung heroes, much more so than these garbage entertainers, such as Nickelback, who get all the glory. Yet the folks who work behind the scenes processing trash so that it may be made into something useful are paid only a fraction of what Nickelback receives for polluting our earth with their rubbish music."

This is just one of the many topics covered on Hamburger's new country album, 'Neil Hamburger Sings Country Winners,' out this month on Drag City. Hamburger uses his nasal singing voice and sharply self-deprecating wit to infuse the record's ten songs with both bathos and pathos. Backed by an incredibly talented band, his lyrics may be funny but the music is dead-on serious country. "We're looking at this as more of a 'personality' record than a country record, in the vein of the great albums in the past by Leonard Nimoy, Telly Savalas or William Shatner," Hamburger says. "Country was the right choice for the music. I am not into the click-tracks and techno type of sound."